Editor’s note – We held a parent education night, and invited current parents across our Primary and Elementary program to sit for a panel. Each panelist shared their thoughts and processes as they considered the decision to keep their children in the Primary program for their kindergarten year. It wasn’t always an easy choice, but all panelists agreed it was the right choice. Below, the questions posed to the panel are in bold. The italicized responses are from the various members of the panel. These responses are a mixture of direct and indirect quotes, and have been edited for clarity and length.
What brought you to TPMS? Why did you choose this program? Why Montessori?
The focus on building the internal child. I came from a family of public educators, but public school wasn’t for me. Once I learned about Montessori, I saw that my mother had been saying Montessori things to me my whole life, but just didn’t call it that. I knew that this was the right place for me and for my children.
I grew up in a Montessori primary program. I had fond memories from that time. And wanted that for my child. I enrolled her in a Montessori infant/toddler program at another school. I saw my 9-month year old using a spoon, and was asking, “How is this even possible?” Afterwards, we came here to this program as it was convenient and a better fit for us.
Convenient location, current parent recommendation, logistics, the outdoor environment
As a former independent school administrator I was, looking for a school that had a head of school, a board, and other organizational measures in place. I was also seeking a school large enough that my twins could find more autonomy in different classrooms. Came for that, but stayed for the curriculum. The staff was large, but not too large, which helped keep the cost of tuition down, as opposed to programs in the Bay Area.
Looking for a school that would foster human flourishing, after my child started, he brought home a puzzle map of Asia all labeled. I couldn’t read the labels, but he could point out Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, and I was floored. After that, I knew I made the right choice. Here at TPMS, it felt like a family – the warmth and community that was present.
Why did you decide to stay for the kindergarten year?
Toured a public school in Seattle, the school was a “cool” one. I’m a believer in public school, and was a product of public school, but I was shocked at the number of children, going everywhere. The environments felt like the antithesis of a Montessori environment. My child had a deep and sweet bond with his primary teacher, they would sing to each other on the playground. This kind of bond didn’t seem possible in the public school setting. Also, my child was just starting to work with the moveable alphabet, and some of the bigger math works in the primary. I didn’t want him to leave before the light bulb came on, and all the pieces came together.
As a family, we had a really hard time coming to the decision to stay for kindergarten. Most of our child’s friends went on to public school for kindergarten. Ultimately we decided to keep her with in the Montessori program because we wanted her to have that chance to step into a leadership role. She didn’t want to help clean up, and hated being that leader, initially. However, she grew into it, and it was good for her to experience that.
Before making the decision to stay, we were very concerned about the social piece. Were they going to have any peers in their class, if most of the other children left? But, we really saw value in giving them this chance to be leaders, seeing them rise to the occasion. Our child had some personal health issues and had to be away for a while. When he returned, he was greeted like a rock-star! The children had looked up to him, and were so excited for him to be back. While he didn’t have many peers, he wouldn’t have gotten such a warm and thoughtful welcome back into the community at another program. There could have been trauma that would have halted his academic progress, but instead, he has continued to flourish and grow.
The social piece is so important. These relationships grow along with the children. The expectations for each child are higher than outside of the school community. We know the children and expect them to do great work – because they can. My children knew “how to work” upon entering public school in grade school. They knew how to order their thoughts and focus to complete a task. We want our children to stay and be strong be sticking it out through the 3rd year, rather than “half-strong”.
My child was right on the cusp of writing and reading. He was a non-reporter before he had his kindergarten year. I would ask how his day went, and I’d get nothing. However, once he began to start his 3rd year, he bloomed into reading and writing. He was so proud of his work, when I’d pick him up he’d launch into all the things he did and what he’d accomplished.
What changes did you notice as your child moved from their second to third year in the primary (or third to fourth)?
It was like an onion with more and more layers, as he gained more skills, he could go deeper into his skills. The mastery was so impressive. He was strong in math, and was allowed to go as far as his interest led him, and this led to new levels of math and exploration. His confidence! He can go and talk in front of people in a way that I couldn’t do until much later – it’s not even an issue for him.
Definitely the confidence. My child has gone on to public school, but there’s no stigma about being a young kid. She’s simply a kid among kids. That carries her through her interactions at the school. It doesn’t even occur to her that something like that would be a thing.
The confidence, maybe too much confidence! He’s out in the world, shaking hands with strangers, and there’s no disconnect when he’s meeting adults. Just the other day, I was running and I saw my Upper El child walking with the Upper El assistant and a few other students across the street on their way to the QFC. They were heading that way to get food for snack for the week. I rolled down my window and waved hello, and he just said hi and waved back. The going outs were a huge piece of seeing how he was growing and learning.
How did your child consolidate their experience in the primary, or what do you think your child got out of their time?
The mastery that came together by for their final year in primary was incredible. The sewing – the weaving. I’m seeing 3 and 4 year olds start with sewing burlap, and then move on to sewing entire maps with the puzzle maps, or sewing pillows for every sandpaper letter, with the letters embroidered on them. It’s like, what incredible thing will they do when their 6?
When my child went on to public school, in third grade they were learning their math multiplication facts. They were using timed worksheets, and each week children would have to try again until they got them all. My child nailed them the first session, while other kids were struggling week after week to get their math facts. When a friend asked him about it, he said, they’re just in there – from my Montessori classroom. He said how he can see the beads in his mind for each math problem. He had taken things he manipulated with his hands, and built them in his mind to use over and over again. He’s an engineer now.
Working with a guide in my child’s class, she knew him so well. She helped me to realize that his goal for the year would be to work on motivation for using these skills he had acquired. Here I was thinking about academic skills, and his teacher helped me to shift how I thought about his development. She KNEW him, that told me he was going to get what he needed.
When my child was in the lower Elementary, he learned about early humans making cordage. He was fascinated. He did some research about it and learned that he could get a plant today to make rope. He did his research, and called over the Portland Nursery. He asked about the plant, found out what they had, and got their prices, all while taking notes throughout the conversation. Shortly afterwards, I got a call from him asking if I could take him to Portland Nursery, like right now. Later that afternoon, I picked him up and took him to the Portland Nursery where he asked for help from an employee to find the plant he was looking for. They had two types, and he had to choose one. Once he did, he made his way up to the register and paid for the plant from cash he brought from the classroom’s petty cash fund. All the while, I kept in the background and watched all this happen. Later that afternoon when I came back to pick him up for the end of the day he had made rope!? That experience of seeing him walk through the whole project from inspiration to actual cordage was incredible.
I’m a huge fan of Going-outs. They’re this multidisciplinary project management kind of opportunity. That’s the most “real-world” experience I can think of. My son did a project about the Obsidian Lava Flows up in Washington. He and a friend were inspired after hearing a story about early humans. Once again, they organized a whole day trip up to Washington, and their guide drove them. I didn’t even know they were going, until it was happening. He had planned out the whole trip, down to getting turkey sandwiches for lunch at a spot he had his eye on. When they got back, he created this giant brochure with photos, write-ups, illustrations, and it was this multidisciplinary project that summed up this experience.
It all starts with grace and courtesy lessons – how to shake a hand. How to ask for help. We start preparing the children for that kind of work in the Primary.
If you could go back and do it again, would you have your child stay for their kindergarten year?
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes, but I would have been working harder at this point in the year to convince the other parents to stay!
Where did your child go after primary? How did that transition go? What do you think is a result of their time in the primary?
My child stayed, and it was seamless his transition into the Elementary. In the Montessori system, I got to see them transition from new young child to leader in their Primary classroom, and then move to the elementary to go through that process again, but on a deeper level. I got to see each level, each cycle, continue and develop each go around. Now he’s in a Montessori adolescent program, and he’s volunteering to help out with the younger children. He’s helping to plan week-long going outs to Vancouver and San Francisco.
They wouldn’t get that chance for leadership for another 8 years if they jumped to kindergarten in a public school. I didn’t want to rob them of that experience. I wanted them to be able to grow into their leadership. The content really carried them through though. There were materials they hadn’t had a lesson on – they wanted to know how to use this or that. Those were the things the big kids did. Then all the sudden, they were experts in the classroom. They knew how to do everything, and had something to share with the younger children, who just idolized them.
My child is in public school now, and her teacher is very conventional. We as parents are missing that care that went into the work provided for her that we experienced here at TPMS. Certainly, she knows children in her classroom, and is getting that social piece, which was hard for her here during her kindergarten year at TPMS.
